The most important moment
Wednesday, June 9th, 2010No matter how long it’s been or how far away you’ve wandered, you can always begin again.
–Sharon Salzberg, The Force of Kindness CD
A friend of mine loaned me a book and accompanying CD recently that has changed the way I relate to myself. The book, The Force of Kindness by Sharon Salzberg, is beautifully written and full of great wisdom. But the book was not the piece that so moved me. It was an instruction Salzberg gives in a guided meditation on the accompanying CD.
It goes something like this, “The moment when you realize you’ve been distracted is the most important moment in the meditation…That’s the moment when we have the chance to be really different, to actively bring the force of compassion into our practice and into our lives. Rather than judging yourself or seeking to punish yourself, that’s the moment to be gentle, to let go, to forgive yourself, to consciously practice kindness. Nothing is ruined. You simply begin again.”
To me, this is an instruction for life. “No matter how far away you’ve wandered” from your ideals, dreams, morals, or core, you can begin again. She says that even if you have to do it 1,000’s of times, it’s ok. What a relief. What a gift.
Now I remind myself that each time I realize I’ve wandered from this moment–whether I’ve made a misstep, acted insensitively, indifferently, harshly, or generally let my ego or inner dialogue run wild–that that is the most important moment in my life.
The same goes for how I approach others in my life. When I’m faced with an uncomfortable situation, or difficult encounter–that moment is an opportunity to “consciously practice kindness”.
I’ve read a number of books about kindness, forgiveness, compassion, and meditation and endeavor to practice each. But it wasn’t until I heard Salzberg’s words that I felt myself relax into my imperfection, knowing that I can forgive myself and start over, again, and again, and again. I know this instruction isn’t meant to encourage or justify lax behavior, but it does allow for loosening the grip of my self critic, that voice and energy that take up time and space that could be filled with kindness.













