Being grateful is an acknowledgment that life is a process of give and take, that none of us have all we will ever need or want, nor that any of us will leave this life without experiencing difficulty.
Practicing gratitude returns our focus to what we hold dear, to the gifts we receive in whatever form they come to us. As we bid adieu to the campaign we want to say: We are grateful to all of you who contributed to the campaign, participated in conversations and activities, visited our Web site, spread the word about the campaign, and most of all tapped the power of love and forgiveness in your own life. We couldn’t have done this without you–all of you. Thank you!
I have seen how the conversations can change hearts and attitudes.
–Conversation Facilitator
It’s hard to know what to write or where to start to tell you the campaign is coming to a close. Good-byes are difficult and awkward–often because it’s hard to let go of someone or something special and that is what this campaign has been.
From the introductory meeting, when sharing personal stories of love and forgiveness with colleagues seemed awkward at best, public television stations and their partners took the challenge to dive into uncharted territory and went for it. For four years, national and local campaign partners, and hundreds of brave individuals have come together to explore the power of love and forgiveness to impact our lives, our work, and our communities.
The Fetzer Institute began this project as an experiment to see how a series of focused conversations and accompanying activities might affect people’s understanding of and willingness to be more loving and forgiving toward themselves and others. Our research for year four is still being compiled, but based on year three research, 70% of those who participated in campaign conversations reported that they would be more likely to:
Forgive themselves for mistakes
Forgive others who are close to them
Consider offering forgiveness as a response to a difficult situation
Talk with friends about forgiveness or being more forgiving
Choose to forgive someone rather than being angry at them
The campaign, like life, has come with hurdles and difficulties. I often say writing about love and forgiveness is the easy part, living it is much more challenging–all the more reason to forgive. But what the campaign reinforced for me is that we are all both imperfect and inextricably connected. Because of our imperfections, we’ll make mistakes and hurt each other, but if we can approach ourselves and others with kindness and compassion for these faults, foibles, and faux pas, we create the room to improve and to love ourselves and others more fully.
The campaign is ending this month, but the work will continue through the Fetzer Institute’s many initiatives and you who exemplify this work in your daily lives. We hope you’ll want to continue to stay connected with the Fetzer Institute. The campaign blog will be ending at the end of June, but this ending signals the beginning of a Fetzer blog, which will explore love, forgiveness, and compassion, include Fetzer activities, research, commentary, and more.
So maybe we won’t say good-bye, just yet. We will say thank you. Thank you for your love, forgiveness, and compassion. Thank you for your support and interest in the campaign. We are grateful to you for joining us in this great experiment and hope you’ll stay with us as it continues!
This poem was written in 2008 by Adeola Fearon in response to and in honor of WTVI/Charlotte’s Campaign for Love & Forgiveness conversations.
Garden of Forgiveness
in the garden of forgiveness
it takes courage to hear
“I’m sorry”
as much as it does
to plan something
that feeds the soul
the quality of life
inspired
by a moving experience
touched by an angel
sent to elevate your life
to slow down
create a bridge
between heart and mind
to one day share
with your children
wise words
making an impact
joy
optimism
diversity
share your spirit
for a new
tomorrow
how passionate are you
to see things from a new view
to flower
possibilities
As part of a KEET-TV’s Campaign For Love and Forgiveness and a community outreach initiative to encourage participation in the arts, KEET-TV initiated the Compassion In Contemporary Art Contest with the Ink People Center for the Arts. Inspired by the PBS contemporary art television series ART:21 - Art In the 21st Century, KEET-TV invited North Coast residents to use their art to convey how we see ourselves and the world today and to try their hand at creating work that explores the theme of compassion.
The First Place Award went to Marceau Verdiere of McKinleyville for his acrylic painting titled “The Moment Before Forgiveness.” Verdiere stated, “I approached the theme of forgiveness by focusing on what leads to forgiveness, and wanted to show the difficulty in arriving to that moment. Forgiveness is a celebration of sorts, but it takes a lot of courage and will to get there, and there is a moment just before, a still fragile moment of reaching out, daring and risking. But as the piece shows, it is also a moment that leads to a more light-filled moment, a rise from the depth of shame, guilt and selfishness.”
The Second Prize was awarded to Lunel Haysmer of Eureka with the colored pencil triptych, “Bringing Compassion into the World.” “This piece was done when I was at an all-time bottom,” Haysmer said, “and came from a place of spirit that didn’t have anything to do with me. It was comforting to feel that at a time when I didn’t see the beauty in my life, that it came out anyway.”
The Third Place Prize went to Kati Texas of Eureka for her acrylic and collage on sign board piece, “The Weight of Pain.” Texas stated that “‘The Weight of Pain’ illustrates how it feels when one lets the pain of the past drag down the present, and the lengths to which someone might need to go so that they may breathe (easy) again.”
Campaign conversations are making a difference! In campaign conversations exploring what forgiveness is and ways to practice it, participants in six communities around the country reported key changes in both their understanding of forgiveness, perspectives on it, and their likelihood to grant it to themselves and others. Participants also reported positive changes in specific thoughts, behaviors, and relationships.
Research results indicate a greater understanding of the nature and process of forgiveness was gained through the conversations. “I have learned to be more open with myself, my heart, and to live each day with more compassion and understanding,” noted a campaign conversation participant. From the first conversation to the fourth, participants had a greater understanding that forgiveness is something you do for yourself and that forgiveness did not mean forgetting, both of which can be psychological roadblocks to forgiving.
More than half the respondents felt more forgiving towards themselves, their families and their communities after the conversations. Three out of four participants felt more likely to forgive someone close to them and nearly three quarters also were more likely to forgive themselves. “I am not so quick to get angry with my grandmother, and I realize that she really loves me and wants the best for me,” said another participant.
When asked whether they felt certain acts, such as physical abuse, violent or war crimes, extramarital affairs, verbal or emotional abuse and racist or sexist remarks were possible to forgive, participants who said “yes” increased by 14-17 percentage points from the first conversation to the last. In fact, participants felt all actions listed, including being fired, gossip, and being lied to forgive, were more possible to forgive after participating in the conversations.
Forgiveness also became a topic and practice participants wanted to share with others. After participating in the conversations, nearly 70% were more likely to talk with others about forgiveness, notice it in the news, or ask to be forgiven.
If you want to start a series of conversations in your community, business, or organization, download materials on our Web site.
Fetzer staff have been busy filling a small avalanche of orders for conversation cards recently. We were thrilled by the response and the varied ways many of you said you’d be using the cards. If you haven’t already, we encourage you to order a set of cards yourself. Below is a sampling of the creative ways others are using the cards.
To inspire collage
In a book club
In restorative justice circles
With hospice patients and cancer survivors
In support, faith/spirituality, and a single women’s group
To trigger journal writing
In a 12-step meeting
In Conversation Cafes and World Cafes
In family therapy sessions
At a snack counter
To renew a relationship with an estranged family member
If you have a set of cards, share your experience using them in our discussion area.
It’s official. Campaign conversations have gone international. Sara Goepfert and Olivia Murillo, who joined conversations in San Diego, while interning at Survivors of Torture, initiated conversations–or plan to–in their home countries of Switzerland and Mexico.
Sara reports that five conversations were held as part of a Quaker group she belongs to in Bern. “The exchange in the group was very stimulating,” she wrote, “and the feedback from the group was that they are interested in holding more conversations.” Sara hopes to initiate additional conversations within her church community and start a series at the University of Social Work she attends.
Olivia said the conversations she participated in while in San Diego “changed my life” and now she is committed to starting them in her hometown of Tijuana. She sees the conversations as an opportunity to begin to change feelings of hate and fear, rampant in a city that has the highest violence rate in all of Mexico. She writes that she “needs to start somewhere” and hopes the conversations will provide that starting point.
Don’t miss this opportunity! The American Library Association’s “Let’s Talk About It: Love & Forgiveness,” a scholar-led reading and discussion program exploring themes of love and forgiveness in everyday life through literature, is now in full swing.
Fifty public libraries around the country are hosting conversations exploring love, forgiveness, and wisdom; love and forgiveness in the presence of the enemy; and love and forgiveness in the light of death. Check out the list of libraries participating with the dates of their events to see if there is one in your community.
This initiative is funded by the Fetzer Institute as part of the Campaign for Love & Forgiveness.
The Season of Forgiveness kicked off on January 17th in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Conceived by a consortium of local partner organizations, the effort is designed to promote a spirit of forgiveness throughout the community. The ‘Season’ runs from January 17 – March 28, 2009, and seeks to:
encourage businesses and organizations to improve their productivity, customer retention and employee morale;
encourage civic leaders to transform public discourse and relationships; and
challenge individuals to improve their lives.
In a recent article in the Kalamazoo Gazette, Thom Andrews, director of marketing and public relations for the Kalamazoo Symphony Orchestra and the man who came up with the idea for the Season of Forgiveness, explained that “the overall goal of this, outside of any particular issue in the community, is to immerse people in the idea of understanding and acceptance as a way to lead a healthier, happier life.”
During the ten weeks of the effort, the Greater Kalamazoo community will be exploring forgiveness. There will be events sponsored by the consortium partners that will carry the theme or message of forgiveness, and there will be project events specially planned for the ‘Season’ that will focus exclusively on forgiveness.
Did you know that the second week of January is set aside as Universal Letter Writing Week? When was the last time you wrote an honest-to-God letter?
The Campaign for Love and Forgiveness has some tips and tools encouraging letter writing you may want to check out.
Sir, more than kisses,
letters mingle souls;
for thus friends absent speak.
–John Donne
Of course, there are ways not to do it. Here is one:
A letter from Romeo to Juliet
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
