Campaign spokesperson, Dr. Eileen Borris, a licensed clinical psychologist, political psychologist, educator/trainer, and author, shares her experience training Liberians in conflict resolution and forgiveness. For years, Borris has been involved in the healing of emotional wounds on a personal and political level. She is Director of Training and Program Development for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy where she works in the area of international conflict resolution. She is the author of Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness.

A few months ago I went to Liberia. Despite dealing with the aftermath of 14 years of civil war, the Liberian people are full of hope about the future. This hope is, in part, due to the new government of president Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf. It’s also because the Liberian culture supports the notion of forgiveness. Pain and violence have impacted the lives of all Liberians and forgiveness is a universal response to their collective trauma. People must heal from this trauma, but collective healing involves much more than healing individuals and relationships. It involves tapping into the depth of their culture which supports healing and resolving conflict on a collective level. For the Liberians this could mean reviving the Palava Huts (town meeting place), using story, song, and dance to help in the healing process of the nation and teaching about forgiveness.

While I was in Liberia, I gave a weeklong training in conflict resolution, trauma healing and forgiveness. I teach a model called the “Trauma Healing/Forgiveness Model” because we have to heal before we can forgive and the things that call for forgiveness can also be traumatic. This work begins with creating a safe environment and sharing one’s “traumatic” narrative with others who will be supportive and listen deeply to what is being said. I talk about how it is part of our human nature to want revenge. As the Liberians talked, they began to realize that revenge will not heal their deep emotional pain. The focus then becomes dealing with their painful emotions, especially anger. The key in this step is in understanding what our anger is trying to tell us. Anger’s message is to look inward and take responsibility for our own behavior. This helps us look at the situation differently. We stop asking “why me,” and start asking “why them.” A shift in our thinking begins to take place by being willing to walk in someone else’s shoes and understand their suffering. This reframing supports growth in understanding and compassion which helps us to heal our own pain and suffering.

As we struggle with our own difficulties in being able to forgive, some experience opening to a creative force—sometimes experienced as grace, which comes from beyond ourselves. This power gives us the ability to forgive even when we feel forgiveness is impossible. When it happens, some feel the power and presence of a higher intervention which transforms relationships through an outpouring of inexplicable love. This is the power of forgiveness.

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